It’s finally hit me. I’m 75+ days into my journey and have lost 25 pounds so far. I’ve been reading other dieters posting about issues with cravings and hunger and been wondering, why aren’t I having these issues? I’ve been obese for … well, forever. I’ve always been an emotional eater. But I’ve been doing so well on my new determination to change my life. Until today.

I’m hosting a meeting in my school library tomorrow of all the county High School librarians. I’ve got a budget from my principal to provide refreshments. So, I put in my order today for a sandwich ring, and made up my shopping list for tomorrow: ice, caesar salad kit, fresh fruit bowl, sun chips, iced tea, cookies from the bakery. And it just snuck up on me: I couldn’t take the leftover cookies home and eat all of them in one sitting, like I had always done in the past. And, I was sad.

Heck, no. I was mourning.

Even though, I knew that one cookie was allowed and would satisfy my sweet tooth, right then, it wasn’t satisfying that emotional craving. I wanted the whole thing! And I hadn’t even seen the cookies yet. I just wanted the idea of eating the whole plate of cookies.

Where the heck did that come from? Suddenly, the thought of never again being able to down about 2,000 calories in cookies in one sitting seems like a loss. Deprivation. End of a way of life that, in some respects, I really liked — I just hated the side effects.

Lord, help me get over this feeling.


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